God's Promised Peace

My husband and I had found the perfect way for me to give a brief testimony on getting out of depression and panic/anxiety attacks that had kept me in bondage for too long.

The Lord had also been speaking to us about getting out of debt and He gave us a plan which we started implementing.

Within 24 hours we had several prayer requests answered! We were praising God and thanking Him and giving testimony. Then...........

my husband gets home from church and our home had been broken into. I'm eating lunch with a friend and I feel my flesh rising up and I looked at my friend, told them what happened and then put my head in my hands bowed my head and prayed - God you have to help me through this I know You will make it right. I continued to pray for my husband since I wasn't there with him and for our pets - everything else was just stuff.

So our and every one's first reaction was - what a shame, this is awful. And, yes that is true because as Ephesians 6:12 says  "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms"

Now since we know it's the darkness in this world that causes these things to happen and that God promises to get us through, we won't dwell on that, we will look for answers, for what God is going to show us through this. And yes we prayed for the people that did this - not to get hurt as the flesh wanted to pray - but for them to experience God every time they touched something from our home.

Matthew 7:  24 Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.

Our home is built upon the rock and we will not take our focus off God!

Proverbs 16:  20Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord.

As I was talking to the Lord and listening! He asked me, 'What did you talk to the Pastor about at church this morning?'

My answer, "It was about emotions and not allowing them to rule you but we are to be led by the Holy Spirit.

Then He asked me,  "And what did you talk to Pastor Kathy, your husband and Me about a few days ago?'

My answer, "That I'm ready to be faithful and stand up and give my testimony."

The Lord is so sweet He said, "and what else?"

 I can't tell you the peace I was receiving as He guided me away from my fleshly response. He is always with us, we just have to calm down and listen, seek Him.

So. I thought for a moment and I replied, "Well, Lord, you have given Rob and me a specific plan and we made the decision to obey and told the Pastors. I agreed to follow the wisdom You were giving Rob. And within 24 hours we had at least 3 blessings, answered prayer, leaving only 1 or 2 things we were waiting on answers for.

The Lord said, "Can you see now why the darkness came in? It is trying to stop you.

How amazing is this conversation? I'm so thankful I know God and He knows me.

Rob and I are now facing a test or you could say, going through a trial.

James 1:  "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds"

I began thinking, we tell God 'yes, we trust You and we will be joyful in our times of trials.....' but then when something happens and those emotions come in.....are we still committed? Was it just lip service or do we really mean what we tell God? I knew I meant what I told God and I was going to rest under His wings. (Psalm 91)

That evening as my husband and I had our Bible reading and had snuggled down for our prayer time, he was speaking God's Word I know! In my husbands gentle spirit, out of his spirit that is full of love and faith in God, my husband prayed -

"Father, they took things from us but they can't take the most important things - they can't take You God, they can't take our faith in You and they can't take the relationship we have with You and with each other."

I melted.

Now, the next day we decided we were not going to pick at each other - should have done this or that, we were going to look for answers so it won't happen again. What does God want from us?

Are you ready for this?? After all you just read you won't believe what I was planning!

I was already talking to my bosses about changing my work hours, talking to my husband about staying home from church until we could get some things done, I was rearranging my life so I could be home when my husband was not. I was going to check into an alarm systems - monthly fees.

The Lord began talking to me and asking me if this reminded me of anything. I had to think and then it came to me and I was aghast.

I had been delivered from the pit of depression and panic/anxiety attacks about 4 years ago. I was home bound for a year. And now I was planning on being at home as much as possible again because I didn't want someone to break in again. I was allowing fear to come back in.

That's not going to happen. I repented, changed my attitude and promptly started praising and worshiping God in song. I started thanking Him that His Word says He will never leave or forsake me; that He died for me and that is an incredible love.

As soon as I began to see what the devil, the darkness was trying to do and stopped it in the Name of Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit in me - there was freedom, fear no long controlled me.

Christ in me, perfect love, cast out all fear.

I did not change my schedule, if anything I am more highly productive than before. I volunteer at Down Syndrome of Indiana and through that other non-profits have asked for our help.

Now, my husband and I are working as one and we are taking each step the Lord gives us to secure our home without going in debt. Remember one of the things we committed to the Lord was to get out of debt. We want to honor God, our faith and trust is in Him. He has given us ideas and we are implementing them.

I praise God that He does talk to me and that He opened my eyes because the 'things' can be replaced if we so desire. I do not want 'things' to replace my commitment to God, to be above God. It's amazing how blessings and joy unspeakable came all because I listened, trusted and kept my faith in the Lord and in His Word.

And since all this has happened, the transmission has gone out of my car.

Because God has been showing me things and talking to me about faith, we just handled it without getting upset or despairing. It was towed free to another city and they have given us a reasonable quote and we know God will work it out.

 Romans 8:  28 "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."

I have been struggling this week and I have felt anger rise up in me at God and at myself. So I began to repent and get quiet before the Lord and see what the heck this was all about.

I have had great victory over anxiety/panic attacks, however I am not walking in the complete victory the Lord says I have. I began to search God’s word and ask why that is.

I believe the first reason is

…..I have not learned to let my fleshy response to certain situations be renewed.

What do I mean by that? When someone spoke words of failure over me as a child/young adult – I accepted it and it began to give me a fleshly emotional feeling. When I saw this person I would hang my head and then I began to believe it and expect it from others. My mind has control over my body therefore the feelings I would have would range from headaches to extreme tiredness to anxiety attacks FEAR.

Then the self talk would come in and make it worse. If I made a small mistake, let’s say I put a cup of milk too close to the edge of the counter and it falls and spills – you stupid….they are right….you can’t do anything right…you are worthless, look at this mess and it’s all your fault.

Here goes my body that sinking feeling, tired, want to run and hide, sick to stomach….

BUT what I heard and what I was telling myself was not true.

Yes, it was a mistake to sit the cup there but it wasn’t because I’m stupid or worthless. It was because I was in a hurry I wasn’t paying attention – that is something you learn to do, you realize that doesn’t work and you correct it the next time.

I cringe when I hear parents tell their children how stupid they are when they spill their milk. I’m sure they have no idea how much damage they are doing to that young spirit.

I believe because of my past it helped me to bite my tongue (no I was not perfect at this) and tell my daughters it’s okay, it can be cleaned up but to be careful next time, make sure you put the cup back further next time.

I believe our Father God does the same thing for us as we grow in our faith. When we sin He doesn’t tell us – hey stupid!!  He reminds us of His word, His love and that He is waiting for us to repent, receive forgiveness and move forward, walking away from the sin.

And the second thing

  Obedience – ouch, yep I was not being obedient. God does not tell me to be obedient in the big things only He tells me to be obedient period. And I see where I have been resisting Him – are you ready……I’ve been resisting Him in one area for a little over a year! Yikes

Does God still love me? Yep

Am I still saved? Yep

Is He still blessing me? Yep

But you know what – there are consequences in disobedience and therefore I’m not getting the full blessing He wants to give me.

So what am I going to do?

Repent, renew my mind in the Word of God, watch what I’m thinking and speaking and obey – move forward and do what He has told me to do. If He calls me to do it then I can do it – by His power!

Laziness, fear, self-condemnation, and the effects on my body from these things, are all lies of the devil.

So I Submit to God and resist the devil – devil, you have to flee!!!!!

In the name of Jesus!

Now I am off to do one of the things I know the Lord wants me to do – it is for His kingdom, His children. I even have a smile on my face as I take another step of faith.