I have been struggling this week and I have felt anger rise up in me at God and at myself. So I began to repent and get quiet before the Lord and see what the heck this was all about.

I have had great victory over anxiety/panic attacks, however I am not walking in the complete victory the Lord says I have. I began to search God’s word and ask why that is.

I believe the first reason is

…..I have not learned to let my fleshy response to certain situations be renewed.

What do I mean by that? When someone spoke words of failure over me as a child/young adult – I accepted it and it began to give me a fleshly emotional feeling. When I saw this person I would hang my head and then I began to believe it and expect it from others. My mind has control over my body therefore the feelings I would have would range from headaches to extreme tiredness to anxiety attacks FEAR.

Then the self talk would come in and make it worse. If I made a small mistake, let’s say I put a cup of milk too close to the edge of the counter and it falls and spills – you stupid….they are right….you can’t do anything right…you are worthless, look at this mess and it’s all your fault.

Here goes my body that sinking feeling, tired, want to run and hide, sick to stomach….

BUT what I heard and what I was telling myself was not true.

Yes, it was a mistake to sit the cup there but it wasn’t because I’m stupid or worthless. It was because I was in a hurry I wasn’t paying attention – that is something you learn to do, you realize that doesn’t work and you correct it the next time.

I cringe when I hear parents tell their children how stupid they are when they spill their milk. I’m sure they have no idea how much damage they are doing to that young spirit.

I believe because of my past it helped me to bite my tongue (no I was not perfect at this) and tell my daughters it’s okay, it can be cleaned up but to be careful next time, make sure you put the cup back further next time.

I believe our Father God does the same thing for us as we grow in our faith. When we sin He doesn’t tell us – hey stupid!!  He reminds us of His word, His love and that He is waiting for us to repent, receive forgiveness and move forward, walking away from the sin.

And the second thing

  Obedience – ouch, yep I was not being obedient. God does not tell me to be obedient in the big things only He tells me to be obedient period. And I see where I have been resisting Him – are you ready……I’ve been resisting Him in one area for a little over a year! Yikes

Does God still love me? Yep

Am I still saved? Yep

Is He still blessing me? Yep

But you know what – there are consequences in disobedience and therefore I’m not getting the full blessing He wants to give me.

So what am I going to do?

Repent, renew my mind in the Word of God, watch what I’m thinking and speaking and obey – move forward and do what He has told me to do. If He calls me to do it then I can do it – by His power!

Laziness, fear, self-condemnation, and the effects on my body from these things, are all lies of the devil.

So I Submit to God and resist the devil – devil, you have to flee!!!!!

In the name of Jesus!

Now I am off to do one of the things I know the Lord wants me to do – it is for His kingdom, His children. I even have a smile on my face as I take another step of faith. 

Praying for Your Adult Daughter and/or Son and Forgiveness!

The Power of Praying for Your Adult Child

this is a book by Stormie Omartian

Our second class was even harder to keep within a time frame. All the questions in the Prayer and Study Guide, for me, make it a 3-4 class study.

Just looking up the Scripture she mentions and praying over it, checking some of the words in the Greek or Hebrew, well there’s a lot there.

So we started our time in prayer, thanking God for our children and for what He has and is doing in their lives and for changing us, opening up our eyes to things we need to change.

The question we started with was :

What is your favorite book of the Bible? and Why?

Please share your answer too.

Then I asked which of the 7 truths spoke to them the most. It was unanimous Truth 5 'You Need to Know You Have to Forgive'

and this isn't just about forgiving you children, it's about forgiving anyone that you believe has hurt your child, and forgiving yourself.

I shared about a person that really  hurt my daughter in actions and words and how I struggle with forgiveness because it could have caused great damage to her if my husband and I had not been there to help. So that has been a struggle for me on top of wondering where the heck I went wrong. And this is where satan wants us to get stuck. We have to realize God tells us to forgive as He has forgiven us. We also know there is nothing we can do about the past, we can't change it but we can learn from it, repent and move forward. God is a God of restoration and peace.

So, for me, I had to say 'I forgive .....' and when those 'feelings' would come up I would have to take authority and say 'stop, I have forgiven....' and then I would ask God to help me love them as He loves. Some people can do this once or twice and they are fine, but it was an uphill battle for me in the beginning.

Once I had forgiven I would pray this ‘I have forgiven...and I ask that you bless...., that they will be drawn to You and receive You as their Savior - help me love them as You love them.

And guess what......I mean it now! I still do not have to have a relationship with them or hang with them but I am called to forgive, pray and love.

Then those 'what did I do wrong thoughts' - there are NO PERFECT PARENTS or people out there, that's why Jesus had to come! So with that in mind, repent where you know you screwed up and accept God's forgiveness and believe Him to bring restoration in those areas. Move forward in the changes you need to make, be in in your words or your actions , and watch God move in your life and the life of your child!

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving let your petitions be made known to God.

Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you. Unknown

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were. Cherie Carter-Scott

As they shared things in their lives we began to see how God was moving now, in us. How He is opening our eyes to His faithfulness and greatness. How we can pray and believe His word. I'm beginning to think this is a little of God's humor because we 'see' Praying for Our Adult Children.....but it is really working on our hearts as parents.

I also found a prayer online that I shared with the ladies. Here is the link  http://www.prayers.org/viewprayer.asp?id=113

Prayer for Adult Children by Germaine Copeland

Love A Lesson Learned

I was going to work on the second class of our 'The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children' by Stormie Omartian but the Lord put it on my heart to share this first.

I really struggled with love until I did a search in the Bible and spent time with God. I'm so glad he challenged me and has kept me growing. Do I have it perfectly yet? Nope, but I'm not where I use to be either!

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